A Cross Post

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Some of you have seen this before. (edited for privacy)

I also find it sad to note that there have been some not-for-the-better times between then and now. But… such is life

Jaypeg’s first day of work.

8 November 2013 at 01:09

Well…

I’m still so …. Ebullient… despite what should have been an average tiring irritating sucky Thursday. (It sucked because of a mandatory in-service held (as always) when I had patients who needed their meds, It also sucked because it was shower day which triples the time spent on clients’ personal care, (and triples the number of times you have to hoist a person between a bed and a chair) And yet I strutted or flounced or sashayed off the floor in a perky and chatty mood. and had smiles for everyone all day. Even when they got my name or pronoun wrong.

Getting ‘[name redacted]ed’ or ‘he’d’ was easy. I would just softly correct them and before they had chance to even make excuses just say ‘It’s okay. Today is day one. I’m sure I’ll forget too’ * since the bosses suddenly decided to enforce a language rule they’d neglected for years.  I had a ready example. “It’s just Like ‘Briefs’ instead of Diapers. I’ll remind you but I won’t give you static over it. And a surprising number of folk got it right the first time. Some I swear had been waiting for the moment they could call me [redacted]. I even collected a few hugs.

If I hadn’t known already that the real issue would be the locker room, the first question a lot of people asked would have ended my ignorance. Me: <shows off new ID Tag> “Today’s my first day of work as ME” Them: “Uh so… um…. which locker room are you using?”

Fortunately I was ready for this. The exact story would vary in order and some minor details but basically I’d show off my Rabba bag with my ‘Civies’ and my lunch and declare it to be my locker for at least the next week. I’d make sure to acknowledge that I now had access to the ladies’ locker room but was planning on giving people at least a week to get more used to the idea. I’d note that there was a notice on whatever locker would be mine that said [name redacted] has been assigned this locker and will be using it as of Nov 14th (I don’t actually work the 14th and may deliberately give people even more time. depending on how much of a pain in the rear using a recyclable shopping bag as my locker becomes. ) I’d stress that while at some point other people’s problem were Their problems, I was trying to be as Gentle as possible. Because I care. Time will probably remain a good thing to give for as long as I can.

I decided to stop kicking myself for how loud my announcement of transition was in July.

Because:

Despite marching in to my boss’ office in a dress to tell her what’s what (and incidentally bringing work to halt for about ten minutes on my unit) Despite an in-service on ‘Human rights’ that specifically addressed the LGBT. Despite HUGE new signs about a respectful workplace everywhere. Despite coming in for the last two weeks openly as ‘Jaypeg’ and changing on-site….

…I actually encountered a couple of co-workers who found out. …

Today.

When they saw me.

If I were more cruel person I probably would have had the giggles at the ‘TILT’ light going off behind their eyes. (I swear I’m somewhat starting to enjoy watching more distant acquaintances repeatedly try and reboot their obviously glitched optic sensors)

In short it was a great day. I felt stronger and smarter and engaged with my work like never before. Even running late and having some of the usual… stable sweepings… occur couldn’t spoil my mood.

My co-workers have been great. Most have been positive. Some even complimentary to the point of making me blush.

And yes. Though I’m still waiting for my birth certificate and passport (and bank accounts and….)

I am LEGALLY a woman. Hear me roar…. okay right now it’s more of a contented purrrrr….

*( my new catch phrase is: “I’m not offended, I’m training [you]”)

(BTW, despite WordPress saying that my Webmaster (an awesome lady) wrote this. rest assured. this post was authored by me.

~big hugs. Jaypeg.

…of Innacuracies, Alias, Identity, and this blog.

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The cartoon at the bottom of the “Welcome to ExtractingJoy”  post

This one:

https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/t1.0-9/1507894_10153656858245058_697251804_n.jpg

has a mix of truth and exaggeration, as do, I suspect,  all good jokes.

One conceit is that no amount of surgery, hormones nor body building can change your underlying bone structure beyond some very limited cosmetic tweaks.  I, for one,  will never emulate a fashion model nor a movie star.

That’s okay.

It just means I join the rest of the women who are ‘too’ (too fat, too flat,  too tall, to skinny, too wide, too narrow, too pale, too blotchy…. and so on and on… and on) In my case I’m merely, on a bad day and looking in the wrong mirror, “too man”.

Blame the media for setting an impossible standard for womanhood in order to sell beauty products through fear. That struggle is not unique to t-girls. (I must confess though, some of us, get greater yields from their struggle and DO have before and after photos ALMOST as extreme as the cartoon)

The other, and largest,  hyperbole is the concept of THE surgery.

There is no ‘THE’ surgery.

Instead, for both trans-men and trans-women there are  a series of therapies, some (many) surgical, some biochemical, and some simply a matter of physical training (voice and elocution for example.) The ones a girl or guy must go through depends on the kind of new identity they want to build and the regulations of the jurisdiction(s) that control that identity. (Quebec for example requires Doctor’s notes affirming that MANY specific surgeries and hormone therapies have been completed and that the Trans-person has lived five years in their new gender before updating a birth certificate) however, legal identity issues are an entire entry for another day.

Today I’ll just talk about my alias. Call me ‘Jaypeg’ here please. This may seem strange. Most of you are here by invite and know exactly who I am.

I’m going to be venting here from time to time. Sometimes I’ll bitch about my job, and when I don’t kvetch,  I will be sharing my private life.  My employers have no need to know what I think of them nor what I do in my spare time. Additionally,  keeping my self and them anonymous means that even if they do catch a hint, it will be difficult to prove I’m in violation of any codes of employee conduct.

That’s Jaypeg explained,  but also other people and places will be reduced to initials or simply ‘redacted’, as military censors like to do.

My client’s at work have a right to privacy, So do many of my friends and associates in the LGBT+ community.  And some stories are not entirely mine to tell, even when I have a desperate need to share my tiny part. I hope you’ll forgive me for this secrecy and  respect  both my privacy and that of those I mention here by not trying to pierce the veil I have drawn over their identities.

 (BTW, despite WordPress saying that my Webmaster (an awesome lady) wrote this. rest assured. this post was authored by me.

~big hugs. Jaypeg.