I’m still a little bitter. mostly at myself but at the TTC and about not having phone or text access to some friends.
Yesterday was another big day. Second day of work. I was four minutes late. not enough to matter to the task, another day full of paperwork. But since I’m trying to begin as I mean to go on, not auspicious either. and it WAS noted and brought to my attention by my superior. GREAT. more completion of paper work to say I’m up to date on all the in house training at least this time with the resources to actually feel like I HAVE reviewed the subjects I’m signing that I’ve been trained. but still… (anyhow more on the fact that work is already agitating me and it hasn’t even really started in another post)
Yesterday was the last day of unlimited tanning at the gym since I’d taken that off my account as a measure of frugality. And the day before I’d actually skipped my daily work out so I was doubly determined, obsessed even, to get to the gym and use it’s facilities to the max.
I needed to get their and get prettied up because I was going to see friends I hadn’t in nearly a year. We had been back and forthing in emails about this group dinner date for Months… I was excited about it….
And like an Alzheimer’s patient I forgot… somehow with stressing about work. frustration at not getting access to machines because the Gym was busier in the late afternoon than first thing in the morning, with chasing mice in my head about all the things that were upsetting me that day. I litterly despite packing a nice dress and thinking in terms of getting gussied up… Forgot that I had a dinner date that night… until I looked up at the clock in the ladies locker room and suddenly remembered WHY I wanted to look pretty.
It was nearly at hour late. Rushing out of the gym I tried calling the one number I had.. but just kept getting a landline. I jumped on the subway, did my make up for the first few stops sent frantic texts during the brief stretch where the train surfaced and got to Jack Astors and hour and a half late. It was the right jack astors. the servers and greeters could tell my that my party had gone in… but with or without their help I couldn’t find them…
… I cannot articulate how upset I was. I’m starting to cry now just thinking of it. I was really looking forward to meeting people who mean a lot to me and I missed them over a stupid memory lapse.
Bitter tired and sulking I made my way back home, overindulged in a dinner my diet and budget probably can’t afford and threw myself in bed without taking my makeup off or remembering to inject my evening insulin.
Now this ‘morning’, It’s noon, I feel like shit, I look like a hag. and it may be more sulking but I’m taking the rest of today ‘off’ (still have to go to the gym. plan to do laundry) but I think maybe I’ve been pushing ‘busy’ a little to hard and need to ease up on the pedal.
~~ big Hugs everyone. and … if you’re reading this (you did get early access) sorry to those of you who were left waiting at Jack Astors. I deeply regret missing you…